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Falling Into Ruts

by Brighten Up!

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1.
If her eyes didn’t push you away You could see into them for miles Stare your holes into my skin I never knew, I never knew, I never knew that Sympathy was for the weak Love and beauty were for the weak Having grown so accustomed to bearing the same burdens Day after day We torment ourselves by coming back to them As if they were a comfort rather than a hindrance I’m running out of things to say And is it worth it to think of more? No, no, no, no, no, no,
2.
I made my mother cry tonight But I suppose her emotions rolled Down her face with the tears And dried upon her cheeks I’m a failure as a son and a brother Probably also all those other relations I hope I never have kids I briefly considered consulting A quick fix to my problems Decided against it Again I can’t play guitar or bass It’s too late for that I can’t play violin I don’t know how My leg is shaking at 200 bpm This is a story nothing else Because real poems rhyme I can’t love it scares people I can’t dislike it hurts people I won’t hate it hurts me I can like but what’s the use My leg sped up slowed down sped up again My toes are numb It’s been going for 15 minutes now But back to my story I tried watching TV But everything is stupid when you are So everything was stupid I tried reading But everything is sad when you are Or when it’s Stephen King So I came here and wrote And wrote And my leg shook at varying tempos And my toes went numb And I used imperfect grammar And people upstairs conversed My thigh is numb now My muscles gave up Now my whole leg is somewhere I’m not It wants to stay there but I must walk A few steps to my bed then the rest of me can sleep I can dream of doing this for a living And not starving Unrealistic but realism is long gone Good riddance
3.
Faith 01:31
Lord someone told me that your faith was bigger than mine—which can hardly be seen And if I know you like I think I do than it’s true and I’m not demanding a proof But if it is would you make this shattered heart do what it used to—open its proverbial mouth and sing Out to you, for you, so that it might come a centimeter closer To understanding you I’ve still got a little while left in this song Or poem or story Or outpouring Or whatever you call it But I don’t know what to say in these few bars So I’ll just listen to the ambience of the guitars And sit and sit And sit And wait for an answer from you

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released December 1, 2011

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Brighten Up! Frankfort, Kentucky

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